Stress

I have more to say about today. Well, I had one week on vacation that I didn't trade at all, I liked that week. As much as I like trading and how much it's rewarding on many ways I have big negative issue in my trading. I feel big stress. I will fear and anxiety over every trade how ever small or big it may be. It's irrational and probably it's not how others feel when they trade. I didn't yet step over on that next level when you don't feel it like that.

I work in sales and know how there are many sales jobs with different levels of stress. I thought that it's normal to be stressed out on a job, that it's normal that something is hard. Now I don't think so. From my experience there can be rewarding sales jobs without stress that I felt before. So now I don't even consider jobs that I previous worked as an option. I don't need that in my life, it's like bad relationship with fighting and lot of anger. I can pass that.

So, my trading should change or there will be no trading. I just don't need to feel what I feel when I trade. I don't need that in my life. I don't want that in my life, one way or another. I can't tell you exactly why I feel like that. Am I so risk averse or can't stand losing. That is yet to be found or not. Today I fall so deep to be put out of commission, to stop trading, to stop being stressed out. Remember this is my second day after vacation and yesterday I was really close to do so big damage like today but market just reversed. It's like subconsciously I don't want to trade, i want to live without that stress.

I really don't know how can I accomplish that. Change the way I trade, time frame, position size or just the way how I think. This is definitely it. It's linked with my suppressing of losses, that's what is making all the stress.

Well, now I'm getting somewhere.