After that those spikes on eur/usd were at the same time when gbp/usd fall, so action on eur/gbp going higher. When it stop I went long in gbp/usd playing for catch up of going to highs in eur/usd. Well eur/usd action got hammered down. I still was bullish on gbp/usd and it ability to hold the lows. It wasn't weak so much, it was fighting. At the same time I slowly started to go in my state of insanity totally intoxicated with trading, risks, everything. As I added more size I was more in emotionally. Nothing else exists, there is only this trade and current market action. It's make or break, all in. Probably gamblers feel like that.
After averaging in gbp/usd I bought eur/usd with full size. It was also fighting and trying to get of the lows. It was so intense. Every second counts, every tick is important. I averaged again in eur/usd again with full size, so I had 3 full size positions bleeding on me. At the lowest point I was -40 full size pips of open loss and it could get double that in a matter of second if fast brake came.
When it was going up in the end I exit by the feel and it was b/e for the day. Funny, I got my excitement and pain and in the end I was flat.
At this blog you can at least read about real trading problems. Not everything is peachy. I can't explain my behaviour. It always stun me again. I'm saying myself I will not do that again at the start of the day and I do it again. It's like they say alcoholics or addict do. It's so funny and stupid, I don't even do that to earn money but not to lose money.
Now while I'm writing this market is 50 pips up from my exit.
I don't have answers only questions.
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