It was clear to me that 610 is important level. I had first short just on 10sec chart reading. Second trade was great but I abandon it not leaving it enough room. It was hesitating going up and I exit. Than I started shorting prematurely. I couldn't wait 610. Being in loss and averaging bring bad emotions. I couldn't stop trading while ahead.
I had totally bad trades against the trend. I try to short gbp/usd to hedge but I took just 3 pips probably because it was full size position. One factor for averaging was that there really was buying into the lows so I hoped for reversal. I got out on good spot, good thing that I didn't wait for b/e.
When I'm in mind frame like this going against the strong trend is the most attracting thing to me. Seeking reversals is like holy grail.
So from that I shorted strong gbp/usd, again before the short on higher t/f it looked to me that 780 is gravitation point. But I short at 757, very bad trade. Very good place for long trade. Averaging and out at around b/e.
There is no point in trading more because my reasoning is now totally flawed. It's funny how need to trade is so big. Like I have to trade now, like there will be no tomorrow, like I will feel empty and unsatisfied from now on. More trading would be just to cover that need of getting out of emptiness and dissatisfaction. That is not reason to trade it's just emotional override.
So I chose to write this instead.
I'm at -3 pips for a day which is great for this kind of bad performance.
I have kind of problem with taking losses, it was shown today. I use too much trade management just to escape simple loss. It's insecurity in my own ability. I know that but it's slow work and slow advance. My trading is now mostly based around my good points so this doesn't affect me too much, it's the process it's not overnight thing.
After all this and coffee brake I came back to the screen and saw usd/chf perfectly setup for long, also chf the weakest against usd of all currencies. I used little retracement for entry and fast scalp exit. So in the end I got my b/e for the day but based on good thinking not needy emotions.
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